The Crisp Packet Test: How to Have Honest Conversations at Work.

Do you moan to colleagues about your boss but never to your boss?......

Do you keep quiet because you don’t want to upset anyone?......

Most of us were never taught how to have honest conversations at work. So we avoid them. Or we bottle them up until they explode. And in the meantime… nothing changes.

That’s why I use something I call The Crisp Packet Test.

The Story

Ever walked past a crisp packet on the floor and thought, “someone else will pick it up”?

That moment changed the way I thought about leadership. And today it’s how I teach feedback.

Because feedback is the same: If you see something and don’t pick it up, it starts to rot. Culture decays. Resentment builds. And nothing changes.

The Method — Three Steps

1️⃣ How I Felt Lead with you. Not blame, not judgement.

“I felt stressed when the report didn’t land on time…” “I felt proud when you stepped in to help Sarah…”

It lowers the guard. You’re sharing your experience, not attacking theirs.

2️⃣ What I Saw Describe the specific action or inaction. No labels. No “you’re lazy” or “you’re amazing.” Just facts.

“…when you walked past while the rest of us unloaded the delivery.” “…when you interrupted me three times in the meeting.”

It keeps the conversation grounded.

3️⃣ Why It Matters Show the impact .... on you, the team, the client, the culture.

“…because it signalled teamwork wasn’t important, and the team noticed.” “…because it meant we looked unprepared to the client.”

That’s the crisp packet being picked up. Short, clear, human.

Extra Step: Prepare Before You Speak

One thing I always recommend: don’t go into a tough conversation with just one example.

If you only bring up a single incident, it’s easy for someone to brush it off as a one-off. But if you’ve noticed the same behaviour a few times, and you’ve written them down, it’s much harder to ignore.

This isn’t about keeping score or being petty .....it’s about making sure your feedback lands as a pattern, not just an isolated moment.

And write it down. Preparing notes takes some of the anxiety out of the conversation, because you’re not trying to recall everything under pressure.

Real-world Examples

⚫ Constructive: “I felt disappointed when you sat scrolling on your phone during the client presentation, because it gave the impression we weren’t fully invested in their time.”

🟢 Positive: “I felt encouraged when you congratulated Tom publicly for his work, because it boosted morale and showed recognition matters here.”

⚫ Constructive: “I felt shut down when you interrupted me three times in the meeting, because it stopped me finishing my point and others followed your lead.”

🟢 Positive: “I felt impressed when you answered the client’s technical question with confidence, because it built their trust and showed our depth of expertise.”

Why This Works

Most feedback goes wrong because:

• It’s vague (“great job!” or “you need to do better”).

• It’s personal (“you’re lazy,” “you’re brilliant”).

• Or it gets avoided until the damage is already done.

The Crisp Packet Test works because it: ✔ Anchors feedback in your feeling .... human, not hostile. ✔ Names a specific behaviour ..... so it’s clear and actionable. ✔ Explains the impact ..... so people see why it matters. ✔ Prepares you with examples and notes — so you feel calm and confident.

It takes the heat out of conflict and builds trust. And when you use it for positive feedback too, it shows people exactly what good looks like.

👉 That’s how you keep your culture clean. By picking up the packets .... big or small ..... every time you see them.

Question for you: What’s the last “crisp packet” you picked up (or left behind) in your workplace?